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Monday, June 20, 2011

What April Did In May: Part 3

I could keep going and tell you all about what I did in May.
I could tell you every last detail about all the time I spent getting to know this amazing boy.

But you want to know if these cracks got bigger.
Let me tell you.
They did.

I went to spend a weekend in Melbourne with 'the boy'; it was very special and I was beyond delighted to be there.

A beautiful hotel, beautiful city, and all that jazz - who wouldn't order 4am room service and go out to cocktails the next afternoon?
Who wouldn't eat whatever their heart desired because it was so much easier than trying hard to be good?

So, weigh-in time rolled around and even after the promises I'd made to Kim I had to go and admit what I'd done.

I stepped onto the scales, Stef and Kim watching and seeing what the numbers read.

I felt certain I had gained, and I was tense all over.

Kim looked at my record, then at me, and her smile faded.

"Well, I'm sorry April, but you've just had your first gain."

To say I was upset was an understatement.

Tears ran down my face as I walked quickly back into Kim's office.

I hid my head and cried, while Stef patted me and Kim looked at me with a grim face.

We talked about what I'd just felt, and how that should help me be motivated.

I'd gone back past the 20kg loss mark and I was devastated.

With promises to be perfect the next week I left and went home, feeling like I had failed miserably.

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