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Monday, March 21, 2011

The Wonder Years? Not quite.

Even after the awesome joys of primary school, where I even had my teacher pull me out of class to tell me he was "worried about my weight" and I was teased mercilessly, not much could have prepared me for how I would not fit in at high school.

Literally.

I had to have my school skirt specially made and wear man-sized shirts - my school jumper was faded but loose (because it had probably belonged to a boy from Year 10).

I lied about my weight and acted as though it didn't bother me - I got changed in the toilet for PE because I was modest, not because I was embarrassed.

I didn't do Cross Country.
I didn't do swimming carnivals.
I didn't do PE.
I didn't do athletics.
I didn't do lunchtime play.

I didn't do anything but eat my lunch - my lunch, and any other food that might be offered to me.
It made me feel better to have something to eat while I watched the other girls and boys play and have fun.
I was out of place and unwanted, even by the people I was sure wouldn't desert me. I only managed to retain any place in a group of friends by being loud, overconfident and sometimes funny.

The fat, funny one.

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